You Don’t Have To Be Married To Raise A Happy And Healthy Child

Long-term marriages can sometimes reach a painful point where one partner has emotionally disengaged while the other continues trying to preserve the relationship, often for the sake of children or family stability. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a woman whose husband openly maintains another romantic relationship while continuing to live with her and remain legally married. The situation highlights several difficult psychological themes that commonly emerge in distressed relationships, including denial, boundary-setting, emotional dependency, humiliation, and the fear that ending a marriage may harm children. It also raises an important question many people struggle with privately: at what point does preserving a marriage begin to come at too great a personal cost? The issues discussed here remain highly relevant for individuals attempting to distinguish between commitment, endurance, and the gradual erosion of mutual respect within an intimate relationship.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-husband-cheating-wife-colleague-marriage-divorce-1770839

Published 01/07/2023 in Newsweek: My Husband Loves Another Woman, But I Don’t Want Divorce—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

You Were as Open With Your Feelings as You Could Be

Family estrangements between parents and adult children are increasingly common, particularly when disagreements around parenting, boundaries, or communication escalate into long periods of silence and emotional distance. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a mother who became cut off from her daughter and grandchildren following a conflict over her grandson’s swim lessons. The situation highlights an important dynamic that often emerges in emotionally charged family conflicts: the difference between validating another person’s feelings and agreeing with their perspective. Many people become stuck trying to prove they were “right,” when the more effective path toward repair may involve helping the other person feel emotionally understood first. The themes discussed here—validation, boundary sensitivity, intergenerational triggers, and reconciliation—remain highly relevant for families struggling to reconnect after painful ruptures.

Link to the Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-grandmother-blocked-grandchildren-1801137

Published 06/17/2023 in Newsweek: My Daughter Has Blocked Me From Seeing My Grandkids—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

I Know Trust Can Indeed Be Restored

Infidelity often causes profound damage to trust within a marriage, but many couples are unprepared for the additional trauma that can occur when important details emerge years later. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a husband struggling not only with the pain of his wife’s affair, but with the emotional impact of learning—more than a decade later—that he had not been told the full truth. The situation highlights an important reality about betrayal trauma: healing typically requires more than simply allowing time to pass. Rebuilding trust after infidelity often depends on both partners’ willingness to engage honestly with what happened, to understand the emotional and relational context surrounding the affair, and to tolerate difficult but necessary conversations about hurt, accountability, and repair. These themes remain deeply relevant for couples attempting to recover from long-standing breaches of trust within otherwise enduring relationships.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-husband-wife-relationship-cheating-affair-1789817

Published 04/01/2023 in Newsweek: My Wife Has Been Cheating on Me for 12 Years—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

Disrespectful Behavior is On Them, Not On You

Weddings often carry emotional meaning far beyond the event itself. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a reader who continued to feel troubled years later by family conflict, estrangements, and ruptured friendships that emerged around her wedding. The situation illustrates how major life transitions—particularly marriage—can activate unexpected feelings in parents, relatives, and friends, including exclusion, loss, jealousy, disappointment, or difficulty adjusting to changing roles and boundaries. While weddings are frequently idealized as joyful occasions, they can also expose longstanding family dynamics and unresolved sensitivities. This discussion remains relevant for many couples navigating the emotional complexities that accompany marriage ceremonies and other major transitions, especially when they are left wondering whether they were truly responsible for the reactions and behavior of others.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/family-friends-cut-off-bride-after-wedding-1781680

Published 03/05/2023 in Newsweek: My Parents Haven’t Spoken to Me Since My Wedding—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

Your Brother’s Behavior Towards Your Mother May Not Change

Adult siblings often experience intense conflict and resentment when caregiving responsibilities for an aging parent become unevenly distributed. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a reader struggling with anger toward her brother for his apparent emotional and practical absence from their 100-year-old mother’s life. The situation highlights a common but painful family dynamic: siblings frequently carry very different emotional experiences, expectations, and interpretations of the same childhood and parent-child relationships. Caregiving disputes can therefore become about far more than logistics—they often involve longstanding feelings about fairness, loyalty, recognition, and emotional responsibility within the family. This discussion remains highly relevant for adults navigating aging parents, sibling estrangement, and the emotional burden that can emerge when one family member feels left carrying responsibilities largely alone.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-elderly-mother-care-sibling-feud-1778289

Published 02/12/2023 in Newsweek: My Brother Won’t Help Look After Our 100-Year-Old Mom—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

A Good Friend Will Show Understanding And Flexibility

Weddings often place friendships under unexpected emotional and financial strain, particularly for young adults who are still establishing financial independence. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a college student struggling with the escalating costs associated with being part of a friend’s bridal party. The situation highlights a common relational challenge: balancing loyalty, generosity, and participation in important life events with realistic personal boundaries and financial limitations. Many people—especially younger adults—fear that expressing financial stress will make them appear selfish, unsupportive, or disappointing to others. Yet healthy friendships depend not only on celebration and enthusiasm, but also on the ability to communicate openly about limits and competing responsibilities. The themes discussed here remain highly relevant for friendships navigating weddings, financial pressure, people-pleasing, and the tension between authenticity and fear of conflict.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-wedding-bridesmaid-money-friendship-1741087

Published 09/18/2022 in Newsweek: I’m Being Bankrupted By My Friend’s Wedding—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

If You Take Steps Now You May Be Able To Keep Your Daughter In Your Life

Parental estrangement following divorce or abuse can leave lasting emotional wounds for both parents and children, particularly when children grow up with only a partial understanding of what occurred within the family. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a mother who believes her abusive ex-husband turned her children against her after she left the marriage. The situation highlights several painful dynamics often present in high-conflict family systems, including alienation, unresolved grief, shame, emotional reactivity, and the difficulty adult children may have integrating competing narratives about their parents. It also illustrates an important clinical reality: anger and hostility can sometimes mask deeper feelings of abandonment, confusion, and loss. The themes discussed here remain highly relevant for estranged parents attempting to maintain hope, emotional steadiness, and the possibility of future repair despite years of painful family conflict and rejection.

Link to Article: https://www.newsweek.com/wsid-family-mom-divorce-domestic-violence-abuse-children-1733174

Published 08/14/2022 in Newsweek: My Ex-Husband Has Turned My Children Against Me—What Should I Do?

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

Mindfulness and Its Misuse in the Legal Arena

As conversations about attorney wellbeing continue to be relevant within the legal profession, mindfulness practices have been adopted by law firms, bar associations, and wellness initiatives as tools for stress management and resilience. In this New York Law Journal article, I examine a less frequently discussed issue: the ways mindfulness can sometimes be misapplied within legal settings—not only by individual attorneys, but at an organizational level as well. The article explores how mindfulness, when used primarily to suppress discomfort or tolerate unhealthy workplace dynamics, can inadvertently reinforce conflict avoidance and emotional disengagement.

Link to Article: https://www.law.com/newyorklawjournal/2020/06/01/mindfulness-and-its-misuse-in-the-legal-arena/

Published 6/1/2020 in New York Law Journal: Mindfulness and Its Misuse in the Legal Arena

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

Unhealthy Law Firm Dyads Made Worse During the Pandemic

The shift to remote work during the COVID-19 pandemic intensified longstanding pressures within law firm culture, particularly for isolated associates working under demanding supervisory relationships. In this New York Law Journal article, I examine how certain partner-associate dynamics—especially those involving chronic pressure, poor boundaries, and limited avenues for recourse—became significantly more psychologically hazardous during periods of isolation and uncertainty. The article explores concepts such as learned helplessness, workplace power dynamics, and the importance of creating trusted internal reporting structures that attorneys can safely access when struggling. Although written during the pandemic, the concerns discussed remain relevant today as many law firms continue operating within hybrid work environments while grappling with attorney wellbeing, retention, supervision, and psychological safety. The broader issues raised—how organizational structures either amplify or contain distress—remain central to ongoing conversations about sustainable legal practice and law firm culture.

Link to Article: https://www.law.com/newyorklawjournal/2020/05/12/unhealthy-law-firm-dyads-made-worse-during-the-pandemic-and-what-to-do-about-them/

Published 5/12/2020 in New York Law Journal: Unhealthy Law Firm Dyads Made Worse During the Pandemic

Author: Peter W. Lobl, PhD

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