If You Take Steps Now You May Be Able To Keep Your Daughter In Your Life

Parental estrangement following divorce or abuse can leave lasting emotional wounds for both parents and children, particularly when children grow up with only a partial understanding of what occurred within the family. In this Newsweek “What Should I Do?” column, I respond to a mother who believes her abusive ex-husband turned her children against her after she left the marriage. The situation highlights several painful dynamics often present in high-conflict family systems, including alienation, unresolved grief, shame, emotional reactivity, and the difficulty adult children may have integrating competing narratives about their parents. It also illustrates an important clinical reality: anger and hostility can sometimes mask deeper feelings of abandonment, confusion, and loss. The themes discussed here remain highly relevant for estranged parents attempting to maintain hope, emotional steadiness, and the possibility of future repair despite years of painful family conflict and rejection.